Dilemma of meaning and self-inquiry? Why to be curious?
When you enter into the deep inquiry, you start becoming more and more mystical scientist or a philosopher, and having an answer to every dilemma. It does not mean that you would have ultimate right answers, but you are an answer to yourself. Also notice how "you/self" disappears on the way since the practitioner becomes the practice and you experience wholeness and unity of your inside and outside.
Deepest self-inquiry really requires curiosity and wonder of being
The best inquiries go so deep that it really requires curiosity to want to know and find out answers. It's also that the "answers" may not be ordinary ones and certainly nothing like you expect because deepest inquiry explores the unconscious and unaware side.
Question your questioning
Self-inquiry is connected to what you are and who you are, it's about realizing personal and transcendental truths, some more relative, the others more of the absolute, depending on your experience or practice. Realizations come anytime, when least expected, in all life situations, but also through meditation or inquiry. You are a living, being inquiry to yourself continuously.
What do you really mean by that?
While I like using the word dilemma or talk about problem solving, it does not mean that there would actually be a problem. Even the shadows were my curiosity where I started from and they were positive dilemmas, not necessarily easy ones... from which get back to one of the core questions: "What do you mean by that", What does Kirsi mean with that word". If you just expect to know and take that for granted, you miss-out the point of dilemma and what it really means to understand deeply.
How many times do you dare to ask "why"?
I know that if I ask too many times "why or ask somebody to reflect" to understand better, most people get annoyed by that sooner or later since our Western cultures (notice the storyline) have taught us that you should not ask things like that, its too intimate, inappropriate, and pisses people off and curiosity is also seen as cheekiness.
Well, the people may not be so comfortable with their existing wholeness and talking about inner selves. What I think is that, most of them just don't want to look stupid for not-having a good, well thought final answer. Why? Because "most people", being careful with the generalizations, don't do good self-inquiry or reflection, but they don't know how to bypass the question either without being exposed. The "most people" really means majority of our population because self-reflection and inquiry is a skill that grows-up.
So this really is an art, dialogue within and without and questioning the normative rules and social construction may not be helpful either, because collective cultural habits, even at 4th person, mostly assume more or less consensus, mutuality, and while differences are appreciated there is still simply the rule of "enough-ness" in the minds, that face their boundaries there. This is a matter of integration and deconstruction, but also safety and unconditional acceptance for all that to show up. So the deep inquiry is also a matter of trust in self, others and life and transcending it again and again while communicating the worry.
Symbols arising as images
Inquiry is not only left-brain questioning, but also right-brain creativity and innovation and on that side you receive your inner truths as well which are not directed to purpose or personal will. How do you relate to your dreams or images and visualizations generated by the unconscious? Images like this, just like all the others what we see, they talk to us. It's about the inner dialogue with the unconscious side that often shows the opposite perspective or help you to inquire more. More than anything, they are an invitation to your curiosity and wonder to understand more. What meaning do you give to these? There is no one truth, your meaning, your creation of self and shadow. Simple but complex and that is why the inquiry is needed.
I think that again you need to dare to integrate these potential "other people's voices" in the mind, to inquire what seems senseless to a Western practitioner "who was taught" in the basic school that rationality is good, dreaming and creation bad. Do you notice how inquiry is the key to continuously talk to yourself, conscious-unconscious interacting together? How you need to dissolve your own shadows or boundaries in the same time to pass those earlier self-created obstacles within the mind? As I mentioned, to open to the new, is about dissolving past at the same time. It's all available to you within your awareness if you just are curious enough?
How far can you go into the shadow arising? Where is your personal limitation? How do you work on it? It's the only way to understand deeply, deconstruct the belief-based mind-structures and liberate oneself to expose oneself to be stupid. Feelings like that naturally arise when you enter exploring unknown and dare to let go of "knowings and certainties", which the mind will always be after. "I know, I am sure of that" is the same as if saying; "I identify with this". It's all ego anyway at all the stages and part of the conscious human processing unit, unavoidable. But the awareness part is, how strong is that identification?
Well another inquiry came up from that. Is it a question of "good manners", quality and depth of the relationship, fear of not being seen and heard or fear of not being seen as you prefer to be seen? Are you afraid of being labeled difficult? Or do you believe that people think you are starting an argument or fight? What assumptions take place inside of you in that situation? Notice also, what assumptions you put into somebody else's situation when observing them doing it? It all tells about you and your relationship to the content presented and how it was presented. Inquire!
If you really want to understand yourself or the others, you really need to take the curiosity as far as you don't find any differencies between each perspectives. Then you will understand why there are these easily confused misunderstandings and shadows showing up.
Deep self-inquiry and being open to "truth" in groups is a radical way to find connection and lose connections and that is why you need to know what you are
Talking it out, who you are, knowing what you are and saying what the other's don't dare to say, speaking of your mind and your own self-inquired truth with enough objectivity is the skill, while easily misinterpreted by people whose own worldview looses the grip immediately when "other people's words" awaken their exterior other to which they still are in the shadow of.
"People who do good self-inquiry, defend their inquired truth and ask the "difficult" questions are usually the less liked ones in the room. They are also in service for the whole, beyond the general expectations and social acceptance is not very important for them."
We would need more politicians like that?
Truth is not always nice, and when it is not, it does not mean that it is bad, unreasonable, untrue or harmful either. Sometimes we just need to hear or see it to realize it and some of us, are more interested in befriending with than rather than with people who just prefer to avoid it behind their own shields. On the other hand, truth that comes with deep inquiry, is quite neutral, honest and just. It's also open and receiving to be questioned since it's not trying to push you there, but allowing your own choice. This we can also call expression of the True Self or Spirit.
Conclusion
Self-inquiry is to inquire the meaning made by you, others or in general, it's participatory practice within. It is meta-conscious practice to get beyond the language to dissolve the individual construction, often taken for granted. It's easier to accept the social construction rather than your individual participation on that.
And yes, "most of the world" could not care less, since they don't see the meaning and purpose in doing so, which is part of the dilemma, you see?
Are you curious enough to get beyond the visible?
Meaning is part of who you think you are. No-one is what they think and to find out what they really are, is part of dissolving social and individual boundaries of the mind and body.
The both are connected to the vulnerable areas of consciousness, like truth (relative-absolute) and what we dare to look in ourselves, when, how, with whom? All shadows arise and test our inquiry, integrity and wholeness. It takes a bit of warrior-nature, notice also the inner strength of that, to sink in.
Good inquiry does not aim on understanding your own purpose, which in the end is self-ish, but also the neutral ultimate, more universal truths which cannot all be realized, but help us to see beyond our own and on behalf the whole humanity.
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